Sekiranya anda adalah seekor Monyet...

layannnn..

Harga petrol RM vs USD!! ( Manglish)

Kalau betullah cara kira kos petrol begini... awak ditipu hidup-hidup...

Price petrol per barrel worldwide = USD60.00

Processing fees per barrel = USD10.00

PRICE IN TOTAL PER BARREL = USD70.00

(Exchange rate: USD1.00 = RM3.70)

Means: USD70.00 x RM3.700 = RM259.00 per barrel (in total)

Note: 1 barrel = 200 Liters...

Kira balik... RM259.00 / 200 Litres = RM1.295 (per Liter)

per litre is only RM1.295 and not RM1.92 ...

No such thing as gov subsidy.. RM60 for petrol and the possessing fees
is fixed by worldwide...

Harga petrol RM vs USD!! ( Manglish)

Kalau betullah cara kira kos petrol begini... awak ditipu hidup-hidup...

Price petrol per barrel worldwide = USD60.00

Processing fees per barrel = USD10.00

PRICE IN TOTAL PER BARREL = USD70.00

(Exchange rate: USD1.00 = RM3.70)

Means: USD70.00 x RM3.700 = RM259.00 per barrel (in total)

Note: 1 barrel = 200 Liters...

Kira balik... RM259.00 / 200 Litres = RM1.295 (per Liter)

per litre is only RM1.295 and not RM1.92 ...

No such thing as gov subsidy.. RM60 for petrol and the possessing fees
is fixed by worldwide...

how do you feel about getting fucked with the finger????

ask them.... ahahha...


Din



Fua



Julian



Ong



Rajen




Ha ... Ha... lame??? ahahaha...

Karma's a bitch...or.. is he just plain sohai?? ahaha

got it from an email from a friend... damn sakit man... ahhahaha...

four days...

wahh lau..for the past 4days noone posted anything ah?
this is crazy man..how la like that...no more support...
anyway..here's something i've got for this post.

you fucking horny bastards!!!! ahahahahaahahahahahaa

joke

Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to Chu Beng's son, Aloysius

Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?
PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjolable becaws, same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah !

Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men ?
PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right ?
Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped ?
PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the load, den someone come over and dig your nose, you like or not ? Ehhh ? Don't pray pray ah !

Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses?
PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh?? Siow ah ! Use your blain, use your blainnn ...........
Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love ?
PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove on your finger or not ? Not the same shiok feeling mah. Corlight or not?

Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?

PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn ........... you go and dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupid lah!!

Aloy : Wah... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.

PCK : Aiyah ...... ," Best in Singapore , JB, some say Batam, and now, the whole world also ah!!!

Brazillian Institute of Oriental Studies

Presenting to you
Brazillian Institute of Oriental Studies

Believe it onot guys..this is the real thing,
trust me!!
u can't make this shit up!!!

demokrasi*

saya malas nak kaji lah...
apakah "peraturan/undang-undang" mengenai kebebasan ekspressi rakyat malaysia?

tiap2 hari, saya baca mukasurat berita yg berkait dgn "malaysia" di google news.
hari ni:

Malaysia denies crackdown on bloggers
Melbourne Herald Sun - 49 minutes ago

Adultery on the rise in Malaysia
Daily Times - 7 hours ago
Adultery on the rise in Malaysia Gulf News
Tit-for-tat affairs wrecking marriages in MalaysiaReuters India

saya harap kedua dua artikel ini tidak mewakili sentimen negara malaysia.

Awak Melayu??

Seorang penumpang berada di atas kapal terbang yang sedang terbang melintasi Lautan Hindi. Di sebelahnya sedang mengelamun seorang lelaki separuh umur. Penumpang ini pun bertanya kepada lelaki di sebelahnya itu, "Encik orang Melayu ke?". Lelaki itu menoleh kemudian berkata dengan yakin "Bukan!". Penumpang tadi berasa kurang puas hati. Dia bertanya sekali lagi, "Awak ni bukan orang Melayu ke?". Lelaki tadi memandangnya dengan renungan yang tajam, "Saya kata bukan, bukanlah".

Selang beberapa minit kemudian, penumpang itu bertanya lagi, "Encik pasti bahawa encik bukan orang Melayu?". Lelaki itu tidak menjawab. Tetapi dia akhirnya menganggukkan kepalanya. Selepas itu dia mengeleng-mengeleng kan kepalanya. Dalam hatinya berkata "Tak faham Melayu ke dia ni. Nampak macam orang Melayu".

Selang beberapa minit kemudian, penumpang itu bertanya lagi "Encik, adakah encik orang Melayu?". Lelaki itu akhirnya menjawab dengan rasa bosan tetapi yakin, "Ya!, saya orang Melayu". Selesai dia menjawab, penumpang tadi ketawa berdekah-dekah. "Kah! Kah! Kah!". Lelaki itu kemudian bertanya "Kenapa awak ketawa?". Jawab penumpang itu sambil terus ketawa besar "Kah! Kah! Tapi rupa awak tak nampak macam rupa orang Melayu". "Kah! Kah! Kah!" dia terusan ketawa.

Yet another Youtube video

You have to love Malaysia and the many talents of its people. It's no doubt critical, but also funny. Most importantly i think it was done in good taste, sans malice.

Since most of us punya bahasa cina tak boleh pakai punya, I've included the translation of the lyrics.

Intro credits:
2007 Visit Malaysia Year Theme Song
I Love My Country
Negaraku

(Repeat) Check it out, yo, yo, yo.

(Repeat) Negaraku, Negarakuku.

I love my country, only when you have a country you have a home
Only with a home then there will be me, standing here with you
Loudly singing, don’t be afraid
Even though I curse all the time
My song, is just like the durian
Tough and spiky, only
To see if you dare to open it, to look at the truth inside
It can be very stinky, it can be very fragrant
It only depends on what kind of nostrils you have.

Our police is called Mata
Because they have very shiny eyes
Once it’s New Year, they will be very hard working
Holding pens but they will rarely write you a receipt
Because they are thirsty, they need to drink tea
Also kopi-O, want to add sugar?
If they add sugar, their mouths will sweetly smile at you
When you are leaving
They will even go “Tata.”

Negaraku
Tanah tumpahnya darahku
Rakyat hidup bersatu dan maju.

This phenomenon, doesn’t need any improvements
Neither does it need strengthening, the police and the people work together
A cup of coffee keeps our relationship temperate
I so very suka
At least I won’t go home and receive a saman (fine or ticket)
My dad would sure be pissed
I would also kiong kan (swear word in Cantonese for “get raped”), with no car to drive
What to do, this time so very kao lat (an expression, something like aiyo)
With no car, how do I go out and play?
With no car, how do I wage “wild war”? (I don’t know what it means but I assume it has something to do with a girl)
With no car, how do I go and watch ah kua? (transvestites)
This country, I like it very much.

5 in the morning
There’s even a morning call to wake me up
Sometimes a few of them will sing together
When you listen to it, it’s like a love duet
The voice ululates like an R&B song
Even though sometimes they sing until it’s out of tune
Even though sometimes they even sing until their voices break
Some sound like cockerels, but they wake up earlier than them
This way we can know the time to get ready for class and for work
Don’t blame, the government only takes cares of the natives
Don’t blame, we don’t receive equal care
Only this way we can prove that we Chinese are not afraid of hard work
Only this way we can train ourselves to find a solution during hard times
Don’t feel weird about their standards
Because this only shows that we are smart (or capable)
Children who are not spoilt will not be dependant
Because you see some children are still not weaned off breast-feeding.

Rahmat bahagia
Tuhan kurniakan
Raja kita
Selamat bertakhta.

People who hide in government departments are even better (even more capable)
They can do everything so slowly
Even when people are queuing, are cursing stinky lelai (what’s that?)
They’re chill and unfazed
Sometimes they even bring out their kuih
They eat their nyonya kuih
More people will continue queuing up
Even when you curse stinky lelai it doesn’t matter
Because the guard at the side is dreaming
And he won’t scold you one lah.

They wrap up their heads; walk slowly and cross the road slowly
When you pass in the car you even have to let them pass first
The most important thing is to live happily; the most important thing is to live comfortably
Don’t be like the Chinese
Busy the whole day, very tough
We really cannot NOT admire this spirit”
Because this is their attitude in life.

(Attitude, attitude)

I’ve been saying good things in this song
I believe those of you who are pissed at me will like this now
The world is peaceful, and full of hope
No one is hurt, there aren’t any riots
You’re so classy, you’re so elegant
Your shit is fragrant, and you don’t curse
You guys are the most high class, every day it’s just romancing

Listening to Guang Liang Pin Guan (this local Chinese artiste)
But he already ran to Taiwan
Private school students graduate
It’s so very tough to get admitted into local universities
Actually we don’t have to get pissed about this issue
Actually this is the a very noble plan by the government
They want us to explore the world, to find new opportunities for ourselves
To learn things and come back and repay the country
This is plan is so great, I can’t quibble about it
All over the world you can see Malaysia’s children
They’re like refugees, so very shiok (expression for orgasm or high)

2007, Malaysia’s having Visit Malaysia Year
The Chinese culture is brought out and paraded
The government doesn’t even care about private school students
The certificate is thrown into the longkang (ditch), just like me

Graduated and went to Taiwan
Learned about things, and got ready to come back to repay my country
I stood on the streets of Taipei with my guitar
But my mouth still sings.

Rahmat Bahagia
Tuhan kurniakan
Raja kita Selamat bertakhta.

more youtube videos...

Fua passed these to me... and he's just too damn lazy to create an account with Blogger to post these up... punk ass biatch raymond fua chye ren...

anyway , here's 3 videos/....



A group of 'prisoners' doing thriller by michael jackson.. (farking good...)



Japanese tetris game... ahhaha... I would love to join one of these games... damn interesting.. ahahhaha



with a lighter/pipe like this , anyone can smoke... and it's convenient , easy to use , easy to keep , all-in-one solution for weedheads like RAJEN!!!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book 7)

what the hell man... when was this released?? Today alone there's so many people walking around with Harry's new book... people who visits my store , there's like 50% of them holding the book... there's uncountable amount of people with the book walking pass the shop... Crazy !!!!

how many of you actually follows the story??

*the new movie rocks!!! ahahaha...

**he dies in this book right??

KIds Nowdays

Secret of Choosing a WIFE....

1. It is important to find a woman who cooks and cleans
2. It is important to find a woman who makes good money
3. It is important to find a woman who likes to have sex
4. It is very important that these three women never met!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIAN!

right? i always get my calendars mixed up.
julian ross francis thomas, @lain2 tiger : 20th July 1983?

betulker?

If its right, then many happy returns on your 24th!

Can-or-Nout..

Maybe can maybe-cannot

This is humorous but true reflection of Malaysians.

MALAYSIAN ASTRONAUTS


American Spaceman is called Astronaut
Russian Spaceman is called Cosmonaut
Chinese Spaceman is called Taikonaut
Malaysian Spaceman??? - Can-or-naut

Datuk Najib was thinking about sending somebody
into space. Three potential can-or-nauts were
called for an interview - one Indian, one Malay
and one Chinese.

Najib interviews the Indian first: "So,
Muthu, this is a dangerous mission.
How much do you think you should be paid?"
Muthu replied: "Ten million ringgit."
"Why so much?" asks Najib.
"Very dangerous mission, Datuk. Maybe no come
back!" replied Muthu.
"That's understandable," says Najib. "Thank you..

Please ask the Malay guy to come here,"
So the Malay walks up, and is asked the same question.
"Alamak!...20 million, Datuk," replied the Malay candidate.
"Twenty million? That's twice as much! Even the aneh before you
asked for only ten million."
"You see, Datuk," explains Mat, "I have 4
wives and 15 children ... With 20 of us, it is a big
family to support when I am gone...!"
"I see," says D.Najib. "Okay, can you ask that Chinese guy to come then?"

The Chinese guy comes in and Najib asks, "Ah Chong,
given this is a very risky mission, how much do you want?"
Ah Chong thinks for a while, and says, "30 million."
Najib appears shocked. "What?!? 30 million!
Why so much?"
Ah Chong beckons Najib to come closer.

He quietly whispers into his ear,
"Datuk, you take 10 million, i take 10 million,

and then use the extra ten million, send that aneh to space lah!"

And...the Muthu was finally sent out to space.....

Point blanc... the chinese dude who raps... in cantonese.. ahaaa..

hey guys/girls..

check out my blog ... I've posted a review on Point Blanc's album.. and I've posted a sample clip as well... it's a mix of a few songs... he's not bad... go get his album... support local music biatches... only RM 19.90..

Skype, anyone?

hey guys.. sorry for my abscence lately.. I've been pretty busy with work. Just curious.. Who here in this list has skype?? I think it'll be a good way to keep in touch through skype cuz its easy and most importantly, its free!

Just share your username in the comments section, and I will add my username there as well once the comments start coming in :)

Thanks!

but jason lam IS my friend

so.
i open up my inbox on a wednesday morning, and i find:

I didn't understand!! Were we not already friends? Did i do something to jeopardize our friendship and i didnt make amends? Did he hit his head and have retrograde amnesia?? what about all the good times we shared in the past? was that all for nothing???

Then i hit "delete spam."

But it did makes me wonder.... are my online friends as valid as my so called real-life-friends? I dont know how many of you have myspace or friendster or facebook. And i looked thru the relic that is my friendster. Maybe you should have a checkmark for "acquaintences", "friends", "BFF's", "some wanker i knew in college", and "i dont really know this kid, but i'd like to hang out with them more".... and we cant forget the "damn. shes hot. i want to be somehow associated with her hotness".

How many of your virtual friends are your actual friends?
and does anyone have virtual only friends? (Rajen, i dont count online sex chats as "friends" - despite how friendly they may be).

2 videos , Gila babi RC helicopter moves , lawak giler live news

3000

Hello Kekawan!!!

dalam masa beberapa bulan sahaja kita sudah hampir mendapat 3000 pelawat..
tahniah.
apa khabar semua.harap korang semua baik baik sihat sihat belaka.
sejak kebelakangan ini saya agak terikat dengan kerja saya.
jadi tidak ada banyak masa untuk melayari blog ini.oleh itu biar saya bersertakan
sebuah pantun untuk semua harimau dan singa betina yang tersayang.

1,2,3 kucing berlari,
kena kejar dengan puuki,
malam malam makan babi,
kemana semua orang pergi?

malam ini malam selasa,
malam ini pasti ceria,
malam ini seperti biasa,
kita akan berjumpa disanaaaaaa!!

ulat bulu banyak bulu,
putu mayam banyak putu?
pergi 'sekolah' baca buku,
kalau dah tahu..gwa pergi dulu.

selamat berhari Selasa!!

Whats your fav colour?

Since we’re rated PG 13, lets tone down the blog again. How does a blog gets its rating anyway? And who controls this?

Anyways, you know all these ppl who go on and on abt surveys on friendster. It never ends.. I was thinking, if u start reading this surveys (which I don’t J), one day u might know much more abt this person compared to your true friends.
Lets put a stop to this. Lets go back to the basics of this blog… getting to know your (my) friends better.
The standard friendster question is whats your fav colour? I have no idea what your fav colours are. I think for rajen its blackish purple (at the moment la)

Alrite so what are your fav colours? And y?

Layan this post man, get to know your friends better…

Rajen!!! check this out...papaya farm story beb,...

You'll love it... why don't you do something like this rajen , sure damn alot of followers wan...



Papaya Farm story...

You guys are rated PG-13!!!!!! bad bad tigers...

On an Interesting Activity for the Tigers to Do - LINK EDITED

Hello Tigers,

My Weekend was good. Watched this fab thriller with a hint of comedy ''Tell No One'' in French. Starring Kristen Scott-Thomas (KST). Was so good till the end it has quite a good number of twist. I would suggest movie buffs out there to watch this.

KST does alot of French movies. After a bit of research I found that she is married to a French guy. Anywas now am on a quest to find her movies. As I am learning French, watching French movies really improves my French faster.

Then I had an all day Softball tourney among the other teams in the Edinburgh League. We played 5 games in a whole day !!! and its one of the good times that I have had in a long time. The sun came out for the first time in weeks or months even for 3 hours and that was really good for Scottish standards.

Anywas I found this really good site. And since most of you claim to be experts on the identification of THIS esp esp Rajen who goes on that he really knows one when he sees one. Do tell me what you score. I got 12/16.

Love & Light

The Lioness xoxo

BJ team....

I got this picture from one of the events that happened in One Utama. The picture is a bit blur cause can't be too obvious taking this pic... ahahha

anyway , it's for some 'Senamrobik' competition... and these guys represents Perlis!!!! ahaha... with a team name like that , I'm pretty sure they did some mouth exercise to try to win the competition.. needless to say , they lost... ahahhaha...

I just realized... PARASKAVEDEKATRIAPHOBIA!!

ITS FRIDAY THE 13TH!!!

ooh.
tak takut pun.
but maybe scary enough to put THIS up:

(i just thought id share this with everyone)

PS: if friday the 13th has passed in your neck of the woods... i dont care. Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you in the face thru time.

you may already be a winner!

i just won a radio competition for the first time in my life (this was like a month ago).
i won two tickets to a Jose Gonzales show, courtesy of my favorite radio station (89.3 The Current)

who else has won anything like this before?
i've always had the sentiment that i wouldnt have a shot at winning anything on these public competitions - so i would never enter. (ensuring i would never win).

anyways. i just remember an old friend of mine (Arrivind Abraham) and Kumar used to win this stuff ALL THE TIME. mostly from radio 4, which was a good time....
but i digress.

are you or have you always been a winner?

Soundwave Vs. Dolansky

Soundwave Breakdancing

Probably the collest Decepticons..

Soundwave - The Touch

transformers reply

muahahaha... michael bay buat byk lubang.
and i decided to post instead of comment... cause the blog was feeling empty.
megan fox is too distracting... couldnt pay attention to the story whenever she was on screen.

i think they mentioned that the Autobots were undercover on earth for a while liao. so they could respond to the batman signal. (they conveniently all hung out in USA).

scorpionok didnt die. neither did starscream. did frenzy and barricade die? i cant remember.

Anyways.. apparently they already have greenlit 2 other transformers movies. so maybe they can do a better job next time. thats why they also kept a whole bunch of villains alive.

ps: did i mention megan fox is hawt?

transformers question...

most of you have watched it right?? If not , too bad laaaaa

i've got a few questions... you know the 'allspark' right... the location of the allspark is supposed to be imprinted on Cpt Witwicky's glasses isnt?? but at that time , it's in Antartica or something like that right??

Then the allspark was being transported to the Hoover Dam... so how the hell did the Autobots find out about the location of the allspark from the glasses?? or did i missed something?? (well.. i only watched it once... too engrossed with the CGI and Megan Fox...)

And also , Bumblebee shined that light towards the sky (like the Batman's bat signal) to ask for reinforcement... but think about it... is it that powerful that the other autobots can see the light from mars??? (assuming that they're in Mars at that moment...) or did i missed something again??

All the other Autobots was there for wat reason again??? Ironhide did nothing spectacular.. no special weapon or wat-so-ever (eventhough he's the weapons specialist for Optimus Prime) and the 'Medic' dude... all he did was shined a red laser to repair Bumblebee's vocal cords...which he failed... other than that , he served no purpose...

How Scorpinok died again??

*I watched the 2-hour plus version... it seems that IMAX Times Square is showing the 3-hour plus version of the Transformers... so maybe the one i saw has various scenes cut off...the movie is a great movie... with a fairly weak story line... wished that Michael Bay did a trilogy of the movie... or at least split it to 2 movies..

whats haps kiddies?

just a quick question.
anyone practice martial arts?

i'm curious if anyone knows if there is any krav maga or jiu jitsu in malaysia

Booya!!!!

hey y'all..

here's some pics that i gather...enjoy.

THIS BOY IS A FUCKING EINSTEIN!!

i've got a De Ja Vu bout this pic... hmmmm

How Cool!!!!

Where's yours?

we need more love around us... more affection... so... gimme some biatches..

If you're in love with somebody , but that person doesn't know... tell her/him. Maybe today, that person is also in love with you. And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too late .

If you still love a person that you think has forgotten you... tell her/him. Maybe that person has always loved you. And if you don't tell her/him today , tomorrow can be too late.

If you need a hug of a friend... ask her/him for it. Maybe they need it more than you do. And if you don't ask for it today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you really have friends who you appreciate... tell them. Maybe they appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they leave or go far away today , tomorrow can be too late.

If you love your parents, and never had the chance to show them... do it . Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel. That if you don't and they leave today, and then tomorrow can be too late.

Just saw Michael Learns to Rock... LIVE!!!! ahahahha

They were down here in One Utama for some promo thinggy ar.... not bad... they sang a karaoke rendition of Paint My Love... the fella on the right (refer to the pic) is damn leng chai in real life wei... damn cool... damn metrosexual... wahhh... jealous man.. ahahhaa

What's wrong with malaysians???

I just found out about this murder of the 4-year-old girl...crazy wei....

"She is believed to have been murdered and her bone fragments strewn in at least four different places – a cemetery, river and an apartment dumpsite in Paya Terubong and another river in Jalan Air Itam. "

crazy right???

haigh... too much violence... too brutal la nowadays...

No Postings on Saturday

For the first time since this blog started, one whole day was left without even a single post. I was reading some of the older posts in this blog and I realised that we are way off our peak as far as sambutan is concerned. The zaman kegemilangan of this blog happens to be between late may to mid june. After that, it hitched a ride with Malaysia, heading straight down to the drain.

Again, I plea to all of you. Write something. Share your thoughts. Reminiscent on the good old days. Wash some dirty linen in public. I was thinking, if we write something that caci one of us here and get the fella to be damn pissed off, I'm sure we will have sambutan hangat. Maybe we should do that.

I know i've asked the before, but I didn't get any answers. Is there a reason for you all not contributing to the posts?

On not Bad eh Lionessss !!!!

I received this email from my Softball Captain

Hello Vinnie

Blah Blah not relevant stuff........................

Been checking the scores for the other night, you scored us one run which makes you our joint 5th top scorer out of a squad of 15. Not bad going considering you've only had 3 or 4 times at bat. When are you away and when do you get back? and can you make practice on Saturday?

Chris


WHOO HOOO Not Bad EH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Enjoy the Clip ! Click HERE unless Gregs decides to help me lead the clip here. GO GRITTERS !!!!





The Lioness xoxo

Special shout out to Daddy darling & Magenta Manta! xoxo

you know something is wrong when this happens..

WIFE'S DIARY

Sunday night.

I thought he was acting weird.We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have coffee.

I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere

Quiet so we could talk.

He agreed but he kept quiet and absent.

I asked him what was wrong.

He said: "Nothing."

I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him.

He simply smiled and kept driving.

I can't explain his behavior;

I don't know why he didn't say: "I love u, too."

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there and watched TV;

He seemed distant and absent.

Finally, I decided to go to bed.

About 10 minutes later he came to bed.

I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.

I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.

I don't know what to do.

I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

===========================================

HUSBAND'S DIARY

Today, Manchester United lost the match. DAMN IT..!!

On General Knowledge

Dear All,

This is to inform you that The Prime Minister of The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is now Gordon Brown. He has recently taken over from one of my favourite speakers Tony Blair as Labour Leader. Scotland is very proud to have a Scots as the UK PM.

* If you see him on TV pay attention to his accent.

I will miss listening and watching Tony Blair especially in Parliament during debates. His wit, charisma, word play, charm always coupled with the British sense of humour will be missed by me. I feel he has a way of magnetising and alluring people with the way he speaks.

I am keeping an eye on David and Ed Miliband became the first brothers to share seats at the cabinet table since 1929. If you happen to read this David and Ed I would love to have a cup of tea with you - (How British!- The Cup of tea part) When these people speak whoo hooooooo seriously intelligent intellectual people.

You cant really blame me after all this is an enormous leap from the kiddy cartoon Malaysian politics and Parliament we see and hear off.

BTW SPECIAL REQUEST : Daddy can I please have some Manta stories? Pictures will be a treat !

The Lioness

xoxo sprained my neck big time cant properly turn right.

** Please note in the picture above these big shots walk on the road like normal people. Blair even took the underground-tube before the Sept 11 attack. This is why I have alot of respect for these people. Unlike what happens in Msia some one will carry your bag, someone will open your car down, someone will constantly be bowing down and lowering themselves 'Ya Tuan , Baik Tuan bulls$£t'. I watched a documentary and No.10 Downing Street doesn't even have a cook of chef ! ' Can you imagine in Msia even if you are the smallest kuchi rat you will get if not you will demand for a maid and use government money = our money= we are the tax payers to pay for all their trips, drinks, material things, daughters and sons wedding, luxury cars, their kids clubbing activities etc etc

this is in China dude... ahahahha

The Assumption Song

Don't you just hate it, when it isn't what you expected?

Sempena Hari Selasa Meriah

Sebaik sahaja saya memposkan entri blog ini, hari selasa telah tamat.
It is technically wednesday.
My limited command of Bahasa constricts my thoughts and funnels them towards the inane and useless. I've been out of practice. I admit - I have submitted my spoken word to an insidious and bastardized version of the language called english. I have become victim to Americana. Words like "Awesome" have become interchangeable with "the".

I dropped my roommate off at the airport today. He's flying back to kl for a week of vacation.
He is going to be drunk the ENTIRE time.
We were talking about going back to kl last night (after our 2nd or 3rd pitcher)... and i painfully conclude that KL is no longer considered my "home". A knee-jerk reaction typically invokes Malaysian as motherland and "home" but in my drunken investigations, I realize that I am too far removed from our muggy peninsula paradise.
Its like the weird diaspora of when our ancestors decided to get up and leave the country they grew up in. Off towards greener pastures?
I've come to face the fact that i am an immigrant.

I miss the food and the faces. Friends and family. But i have acclimatized to my home in Minneapolis. The self depreciating lyrics of this city are mine to sing now too. Odd Midwestern charm and confused metropolis cool have intertwined into what i call my home. The motion city soundtrack and atmosphere of this land of lakes is what i know now. Chicks on bicycles with tattoos ride our grand rounds and the hipsters and thugs converge in Uptown. Downtown is bustling with the have and have-nots; strip clubs and Christian clubs stand side by side .
I know this city like the back of my hand. Malaysia is my happy past but Minneapolis is my present and conceivable future.
Adapt and survive right?

While I only assume that i will meet up with you before you meet with me - i invite anyone and everyone of you to make a trip up here. Hang out. Have a few beers. Enjoy. Come lah.*

*brought to you by the Minneapolis tourism board. I do not condone visiting strip clubs and going to church within the same hour.

PERHATIAN - kemana perginya semua orang?

kemana perginya kawan - kawan semua?
apa dah jadi kepada blog ini?
korang ada masalah ke?
kemana perginya Kemeriahan Hari Selasa??
semua orang dah mati ke?
atau dah malas untuk 'keep in touch'?

sekiranya sesiapa ada masalah...silalah suarakan...
jangan simpan sorang - sorang..
kita kan KAWAN?

walaupun anda se'busy' mana...kalau boleh luangkan 5minit sehari untuk menulis atau mengepos di blog ini...sekiranya anda gagal menyumbang...
ia bermakna usaha saya menubuhkan blog ini adalah sebuah kesilapan daripada mula lagi...saya ingatkan semua orang adalah 'sporting' tetapi sebaliknya ...dengan kata lain.. segala yang ada disini akan menjadi sia- sia sekiranya tiada sumbangan daripada semua ahli.


sekian.. aman!

Rajendra Ramasamy.

Lalat??

Prolog.

Tiba-tiba seekor lalat terbang dan masuk ke dalam buih Nescafe tarik aku.
Menggelupur buat seketika sebelum terus senyap. Tak bergerak. Mungkin sudah berakhirnya kehidupan seekor lalat.

'Kakkk...masuk lalat lah, tolong buat yang lain ya...' kata aku 'Maaflah dik, kakak buat yang lain ya.' Kata kakak itu.

...dan aku meneruskan kehidupan seperti biasa.

Nama aku Mat. Nama betul aku tak payahlah korang tahu, cukuplah kalian
mengenali aku sebagai Mat sahaja sepertimana kebanyakan rakyat Malaysia ini.
Biasalah kan, korang pun selalu dengar 'mamat tu kurang ajar
betul..tiba-tibanya masuk ke depan kereta aku, dah lah tak bagi signal...'
atau 'hari tu tayar kereta aku pancit tepi highway, nasib baik
ada Mamat sorang tu berhenti tolong, kalau tidak tak tahulah aku...' atau '
Ngko ingat aku tak kenal mamat tu hah? Kalau aku nampak
ngko dengan dia lagi, aku bagi kat situ jugak..'. Nama Mamat dah menjadi
sinonim dengan kehidupan kaliansehari-hari.

Aku ? Aku adalah seekor lalat dari spesis Musca Domestica atau Lalat Rumah
dari keluarga Diptera iaitu serangga yang mempunyai dua sayap. Aku adalah
antara 1.5 juta spesis lalat yang berterbangan di seluruh dunia. Aku berusia
8 hari dan pada usia sebegini aku sudah menjadi dewasa. Aku sudah
menghabiskan sekolah rendah dalam masa 2
hari, sekolah menengah dalam masa 2 hari dan melanjutkan pelajaran peringkat ijazah
dalam masa 3 hari. Kelmarin aku baru dianugerahkan dengan Ijazah Sarjana
Muda Makanan dan Sampah Sarap.Tak ada konvokesyen macam Mat Jan,
cuma ambil ijazah di tepi tong sampah sahaja.

Malam tadi, semasa aku berterbangan mencari sesedut makanan, aku singgah
sebentar di lorong belakang sebuah bangunan. Aku nampak seorang perempuan
yang cantik. Bergaya dan seksi sekali. Aku singgah sebentar
di atas bahunya sebab aku nak survey kalau ada
sisa-sisa makanan yang ada sekitar kawasan
itu. Malangnya aku dihalau dengan libasan tangannya sambil mulutnya memaki
hamun aku. 'Celaka punya Lalat..!' kata dia. Aku dihina sebegitu rupa
seolah-olah aku adalah seekor binatang. Aku bukan binatang, aku adalah
serangga. Walau aku dituduh sebagai pembawa penyakit dan virus yang
merbahaya bersama-sama Sang Nyamuk, sekurang-kurangnya aku lebih baik dari dia.

Seberapa ketika kemudian aku melihat dia dipimpin oleh seorang lelaki masuk
ke dalam bilik belakang bangunan. Sekotor-kotor aku, engkau lebihkotor,
lebih celaka !. Aku meninggalkan kawasan kotor itu dengan
maki hamun di dalam hati. Aku terbang lagi dan aku mengembara di atas bumi
Tuhan ini. Aku sekadar ingin mencari rezeki dari rezeki yang kamu buang
dan kamu humban di dalam tong sampah. Hinakah aku?. Rezeki yang Tuhan
bagi kepada kamu, kamu bazirkan dan kamu berikan pada aku.Siapa yang lebih
hina? Aku tak pernah sia-siakan sisa-sisa rezeki kamu. Kalau banyak, aku panggil
kawan-kawan aku. Kami berkenduri di situ. Sekurang-kurangnya aku
menyapu-nyapu tanganku sebelum menjamah makananmu tidak seperti kebanyakan
kalian yang langsung tidak membasuh tangan. Apabila hari dah pagi, aku terbang melata lagi.
Itulah kerja aku dan itulah kehidupan aku. Aku singgah sebentar di satu tong
sampah belakang sebuah rumah.Deria rasaku pada kaki-kakiku
memberitahu sesuatu. Ada banyak makanan. Ada yang masih elok untuk
di makan oleh kalian. Sudah rezeki aku.

Sambil makan, aku melihat pada sehelai surat khabar. Aku membacanya sebaris
dua dengan mata yang kabur sebab aku mempunyai mata kumpuan yang mampu
menyedarkan aku pada setiap kilas pergerakan.
(aku pandai membaca ketika usia aku satu hari di sekolah rendah jenis kebangsaan
lalat). Isi beritanya memualkan aku. Berita dari prosiding Mahkamah,
berita rogol, bunuh, culik,rasuah dan sebagainya. Selera makan aku
terpadam. Dalam masyarakat aku tak ada berita-berita itu semua.
Apa yang biasa aku dengar dalam masyarakat aku
hanya berita kematian lalat yang ditampar dengan sadisnya oleh
manusia,kematian lalat yang disembur dengan
Ridsect atau Sheltox,kematian lalat akibat sakit tua atau kematian lalat akibat
terkena renjatan elektrik pada perangkap ultra violet. Berita-berita yang
memualkan itu menyebabkan aku segera meninggalkan tempat itu. Aku sudah tiada
selera untuk makan. Kalian memang memualkan aku.
Sehina-hina masyarakat aku, masyarakat kalian lebih hina sebenarnya.

Sambil terbang, aku terfikir. Kenapa aku dituduh dengan bermacam-macam
tomahan? Aku tidak pernah berak atas badan kalian tapi kenapa titik-titik
hitam ciptaan Tuhan itu dikatakan sebagai tahi aku?.
Ironinya, bila tahi aku berada di penjuru bibir kalian, itu dikatakan manis?
Kenapa bila kalian pening-pening dikatakan sebagai pening-pening
aku? Kenapa aku dijadikan perumpamaan seperti lalat langau mengerumuni
bangkai? Sedangkan tahi aku dan kitaran hidup aku pada bangkai itu menjadi
maklumat penting kepada Pathologist untuk menganggarkan usia kematian kalian.

Kenapa ada juga perumpamaan 'lalat terbang dipipiskan lada' ?. Eh, itu
burung, ngko jangan nak tipu aku. Aku Bahasa Malaysia dapat 'A' tau.
Begitulah buruk dan hodohnya aku pada mata kalian.
Kadang-kadang aku pun ingin menjadi seperti burung. Terbang tinggi menyapu
awan tapi aku tetap bersyukur dengan anugerah Tuhan. Dengan sayap-sayap ini
aku belajar erti kehidupan kalian. Walau aku cuma mampu hidup selama 40 hari
dan sekiranya aku melangkaui 40 hari kemungkinan aku mampu hidup sehingga ke
100 hari. Itu hakikat kehidupan aku yang mungkin kalian
tidak tahu. Aku hanya mampu berdoa agar aku mampu hidup sehingga 100 hari
dan aku cuba menghindari kawasan-kawasan berisiko tinggi. Tidak seperti
kalian yang mencari mati di atas jalan-jalan raya dengan motosikal-motosikal
dan kereta-kereta turbo bagaikan pelesit. Peliknya,
aku masih dipandang hina dan bodoh.

Matahari semakin tinggi dan cuaca menjadi semakin panas. Aku perlu mencari
tempat yang nyaman untuk aku tenangkan fikiran. Bukan tempat yang terlalu
sejuk dan membeku kerana di tempat sebegitu, aku mampu pengsan selama
berpuluh-puluh hari dan aku hanya akan sedar sekiranya aku dipanaskan balik
dengan sedikit haba. Aku terjumpa sebuah tempat yang berhawa dingin, sebuah
pejabat yang cantik. Aku masuk dengan menumpang seseorang yang membuka
pintu. Aku terbang dengan ceria sebab tubuhku menjadi sedikit dingin terkena
hembusan pendingin hawa. Aku terpandang sebuah komputer yang
terbuka dan seseorang sedang mangadapnya dengan penuh konsentrasi. Aku
singgah sebentar di atas kerusinya. Dia tidak menyedarinya. Terlalu
asyik dia. Aku cuba membaca apa yang terpapar pada skrin komputer.

'Ah !, sebuah Blog dengan nama Life Is A Fairytale...terdapat
sebuah catatan tentang seekor lalat, apa ke jadahnya dia membaca
cerita pasal lalat? Tak ada kerja ke dia? Boss dia tahu atau tidak yang dia
sedang berpura-pura berkerja? Apa dia tak sedar yang majikannya
membayar gaji dia untuk membuat kerja dan bukannya membaca sebuah cerita
tentang entah apa-apa..' bisik hati kecil aku.

Manusia, manusia... Lalu aku terbang meninggalkan dia yang masih
lagi membaca catatan tentang seekor lalat. Mungkin dia ingin tahu tentang
ending cerita lalat. Menarik sangat kah cerita seekor lalat?.
Entahlah.... ...dan aku masih dianggap kotor, jijik dan hodoh.

Epilog.

Lalat itu meninggal di dalam buih-buih air Nescafe tarik aku pada usia 10
hari. Dia tidak sempat menatap terbitnya fajar ke 100 harinya. Mungkin itu
sudah ketentuannya. Kalau dia hidup sehingga 100 hari mungkin dia sudah
menjadi presiden lalat-lalat dan dengan daya fikirnya yang tinggi, dia
mungkin mampu mengumpulkan lalat-lalat seluruh dunia dan menyerang manusia.

He he he. Jangan marah lalat. (kajian menunjukkan bahawa 80 peratus manusia
yang membaca cerita ini akan memandang ke belakang kerusinya dan mencari

kot-kot ada lalat...)

Kisah Perompak Bas Kilang!!

Suatu hari, sebuah bas kilang yang memuatkan pekerja wanita sahaja sedang menuju kilang kayu yang terletak jauh dari kawasan kampung. Dalam perjalanan tu..mereka terpaksa melalui kebun getah yang sangat luas..

Nak di jadikan cerita..ada seorang mamat kat tepi jalan menahan bas tersebut..nak mintak tumpang..jadi bas tu pun berhenti la... Tetiba..lebih kurang 6 orang perompak keluar nak merompak bas tersebut..

Sorang perompak berkata..
" Keluarkan dan bagi semua barang kemas yang korang ada..!!Cepat..!!"

Sorang pekerja kilang tu membalas..
" ..tapi..kami tak bawak barang kemas kalau gi keja..duit pun sikit je.."

Perompak berfikir seketika..
"Ha..gini la..sebab korang takder brang kemas & duit..kami rogol korang SEMUA..ahahhaa.."

Pekerja kilang yang muda berkata..
" Alalaa...takkan la makcik yang kat belakang tu nak rogol jugak..tak kesian ker.."

Tetiba..makcik tu berdiri..
" Weh..ko nie..tak paham ker..kalau dia cakap SEMUA..SEMUA la.."

Kisah 3 Kura - Kura

Pada suatu hari, ada 3 ekor kekura (kura-kura) hendak pergi berkelah
bersama-sama. Kekura pertama membawa makanan, kekura kedua membawa
minuman, sedangkan kekura ketiga tidak membawa apa-apa pun.
Di dalam perjalanan tiba-tiba hujan pun turun dengan lebatnya,
sehingga mereka tidak boleh meneruskan perjalanan. Kemudian timbul
perbualan di antara mereka.

Kekura I: "Ermmm..... salah seekor daripada kita mesti balik untuk
amik payung. Siapa yang nak pergi ni?"

Kekura II dan I saling pandang memandang, dan sepakat menuding Kekura III.

Kekura III: "Tak nak lah. Aku jalan lambat dan nanti aku nak sampai
sini lagilah terlambat. Pasti korang akan bedal makanan ni semua."
Kekura I & II: Taklah. "Kita orang tunggu sampai engkau datang."
Kekura III: "Betul??? Kalau aku lambat 1 jam?"
Kekura I & II: "Kita orang akan tetap tunggu."
Kekura III: "Kalau 3 jam?"
Kekura I & II: "Kita orang akan tetap tunggu."
Kekura III: "Kalau 1 hari?"
Kekura I & II: "Kita orang akan tetap tunggu."
Kekura III: "3 hari?"
Kekura I & II: "Kita orang akan tetap tunggu."
Kekura III: "5 hari?"
Kekura I & II: "Kita orang akan tetap tunggu."
Kekura III: "1 minggu?"
Kura I & II: "Kita orang akan tetap tunggu."
Kekura III: "2 minggu?"
Kekura I & II: "Kita orang akan tetap tunggu. Engkau pergi je lah."

Dengan berat hati, akhirnya Kekura III pun berangkat. Kekura I & II
menunggu dengan setia. Sehari, dua hari dan seminggu telah berlalu.
Kekura III tidak juga balik. Setelah dua minggu berlalu, Kekura I & II
sudah tidak dapat menahan lapar.

Kekura I : "Aku dah tak tahan lapar ni. Kita makan je lah."
Kekura II: "Aku pun dah nak pengsan ni. Jom kite habiskan makanan ni."

Tiba-tiba Kekura III muncul dari semak dan berseru "Hoi! Nasib baik
aku belum pergi lagi. Kalau tak, pasti engkau orang habiskan makanan
ni kan? kan?!!!"

Penjual Telur..

Penjual Telur Di sebuah pasar tradisional.

Pembeli: "Dik, telur sekilo berapa?"

Penjual: "Telur ayam atau telur itik?"

Pembeli: "Telur ayam."

Penjual: "Telur ayam biasa atau ayam kampung?"

Pembeli: "Ayam biasa."

Penjual: "Yang tempatan atau yang import?"

Pembeli: "Yang tempatan."

Penjual: "Yang tempatannya mahu yang dari Ipoh, Kuala Selangor atau Tampin?"

Pembeli: "Yang Ipoh lah..." (Sambil terlihat kesal).

Penjual: "Mahu yang Ipoh Pusat, Barat, Timur, Utara, atau selatan?"

Pembeli: "Adik nie jual telur atau nak jalan-jalan?"

Penjual: "Maaf kak, saya penjual mee rebus kat sebelah. Kebetulan yang jual telur pergi makan. Saya disuruh berbual dulu dengan pembeli sampai dia datang.

Cerita bermula..

pada suatu hari ketika saya(master) tengah bersiar - siar di 1U.saya terserempak dengan seekor harimau mutasi.menyedari ianya adalah salah seekor daripada binatang peliharaan Lam.saya segera membawanya ke kedai Apple dimana tuannya bekerja.

Rajen: ei,asal binatang kau berkeliaran tanpa tag?

Lam: ala..sekarang nie..musim mengawan.gwa ingatkan nak biar dia gi Petshop untuk mengawan..harap-harap dapat mengawan dgn seekor labrador atau chihuahua..pastu boleh aku jual dgn harga yang mahal..

Rajen:..... (sila sambung)

Woohoo

Mari kita bersambung cerita hari ini. Lam, mulakan satu cerita. Kali ini mula dengan cerita yang menarik sikit.

Help me see myself!!! please...

My friend asked me the same thing... i find it quite interesting... so to those who knows me , please check it out and do that thing.... :) should be interesting...

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Jason+Lam+

What say you?

boy and girls..please response to the picture above.
tell me what do you think.....
true or false?love or sex? :)

A very smart bird

Check this out. Really cool

http://upchucky.net/flash-fun/smart-bird.html

Men and Women

1. NAMES:

If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.

If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.


2. EATING OUT:

When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20,
even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller
and none will actually admit they want the change back.

When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


3. MONEY:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2
item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


4. BATHROOMS:

A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a
bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.


The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A
man would not be able to identify most of these items.


5. ARGUMENTS:

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


6. CATS:

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.


7. FUTURE:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


8. SUCCESS:

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


9. MARRIAGE:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.


10. DRESSING UP:

A woman will dress up to go for shopping, to water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


11. NATURAL:

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


12. OFFSPRING:

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and
hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


13. FINAL THOUGHT:

Any married man should forget his mistakes.

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing

chinese takeaway.... prank..