i've uploaded loads of new pictures of you guys..to my picasa..

I'm not sure if you guys can leave a comment or captions or not... if it's possible , please feel free to just add in any caption you want...

http://picasaweb.google.com/jasonlamfookchung

check out the ' priceless moments ' album

RM3k enough???

Just got this from an email..... most of you guys earns more than this already.. but that's not the point... the point is , it's just plain crazy...

Let's do some simple calculations here.
In Malaysia , the average family income is RM3,000 /month (where father
works, mother doesn't). I understand there are many families whose monthly
income does not reach RM3,000, but, to make things simple, let's take
RM3,000 as the figure. Ok *lah*, right?

Okay, let's start rolling with a family which has Papa, Mama, 1 daughter and
1 son. *
Ngam-ngam* … *

Calculation starts...*

Electricity and water bill: RM100
(No air-con, No home theatre, No water heater … ok?)

Phone bill (* Telekom*): RM100

Meals for a happy family: RM775
(3 meals on RM25/day, RM25 for 4 persons…?)

Papa *makan */ *teh-tarik* during working hrs: RM155
(RM5/day, RM5 … can eat what?)

Car repayment: RM400
(A proton saga *aeroback*, 7 yrs repayment)

Petrol (living in city, traffic-jam): RM300
(go to work, bring son to school, only can afford one car running)

Insurance: RM650
(kids, wife and myself)

House repayment: RM750
(low cost housing repayment for 30 yrs, retired still have to work to pay!)

Tuition: RM80
(got that cheap *meh*? i don't think so)

Older children pocket money @ school: RM20
(RM1/day, eat bread?)

School fees: RM30
(enough *ah*?)

School books and etc: RM100
(always got extra to pay in school)

Younger children milk powder: RM50
(cannot have the DHA, BHA, PHA one, expensive)

Miscellaneous: RM100
(shampoo, rice, sauce, toilet paper)

Oh wait!!! I have to stop here, so... No *Astro*, no movie @ cinema, no DVD,
no CD, no online, cannot KFC, cannot McDonald, cannot go Park walk during
weekend (petrol expensive), no chit chat on phone with grandparents, and
etc...

Let's use a calculator to total up... *WALAO EH!* Shit! RM3,610 already…
EPF *belum potong*, income tax *lagi*........*oledi* RM3,610 ...

How to survive *lah tuan-tuan dan puan-puan sekalian *???

Our Deputy Prime Minister asked us to change lifestyle?
How to change? Don't eat? Don't work? Don't send children to school and
study?

Besides that, I believe in Malaysia population, there are millions of *
rakyat* Malaysia which still don't earn RM3,000/month!!!

What is this? *Inilah Malaysia Boleh*... Sorry... it should be *Malaysians
Boleh* , because we're still alive and kicking!!

Our politicians must be mad!!!!

Sepet - yamcha session

ONE EVENING AT A MAMAK STALL………

Jason & Orked have just come out of the cinema after
seeing ZOMBI KG PISANG. Orked belanja Jason because
pirate DVD selling now having problems. So, no more
love at first sight happenings at pasar malam. Jason &
Orked head for their favourite mamak stall.

JASON: ZOMBI KG PISANG best! I like the parody genre.

ORKED: Wah, you also know, ah - parody?

JASON: Sure-lah! My hero, P Ramlee also made parody, -
ALI BABA BUJANG LAPOK.

ORKED: Never knew that! I thought that one comedy.

JASON: You also like some entertainment writers, ah,
dunno genre? Comedy & parody different, mah but look
almost the same. ALI BABA almost banned last time.
They had to do re-dub 3 days before the release date
on Hari Raya day in Singapore.

ORKED: Wah, you also historian, ah? Which part
sensitive?

JASON: Where the rich man ask the robber chief to rob
him., so that he don’t have to pay income tax. The
original dialogue too direct.

ORKED: What other films parody?

JASON: All Mamat Khalid’s films: LANG BUANA, ROCK, MAN
LAKSA, ZOMBI KG PISANG.

ORKED: What is this parody, ah?

JASON: Make fun of people without hurting them. Also
homage to other films, copying some of the things and
then subverting them. Very funny for people who can
see all the references., like SCARY MOVIE, AIRPORT.
Mamat the only local guy who specializes in parody.
Haven’t got SPM, mah, but also got otak. Parody also
involve sarcasm. Also many kind of irony – General
Irony, Romantic Irony, Dramatic Irony, Impersonal
Irony – all kinds-lah.

ORKED: Like that one, ah? So all the characters in
ZOMBI KG PISANG based on real people, ah? They can see
themselves or not?

JASON: If can, ah, our film industry improve long ago!
The character Awie plays in the movie – that one,
Mamat Khalid-lah! He got bitten by a zombie, almost
turn into a zombie but managed to prevent it. That
one, ah, show Mamat involved in the industry - like
all the other zombies, er, directors – but he managed
not to become like them, all making silly movies. In
JOGHO, U-Wei also showed himself being in jail at the
beginning of the film. The camera floats on him for a
while. U-Wei come back from New York, study film, but
got stuck in time warp making film in Malaysia. Very
subtle, one! Shumi also say similar thing in LAYAR
LARA.

ORKED: I think, ah, that sup ekor babi you took before
the movie warp your brain! Where got audience can see
all that one?

JASON: Can see or cannot see, up to audience-lah. If
got otak, sure can see one! But our films now, ah, all
make audience stay at low level mentality. Make enjoy
only - laugh, laugh, cry, cry, scream, scream! Why our
producers want to maintain this level?
Capitalists- lah, only money in their brain! Forget
about budaya, bangsa dan negara! How to make local
audience minds rise so that film graduates who come
out from University can make better films - and create
a real Malaysian Cinema? Now only got Malaysian
Wayang. So, I Tanya you, we want to have karyawan or
orang-orang cari makan? Huh, huh? Fifty years Merdeka
but the mind not Merdeka yet!

ORKED: Hoo, big words. Big p…. Ooops, mencemar budaya!
So the guy acting as attendant in ZOMBI KG PISANG,
who, ah? Cannot figure out-lah.

JASON: Okay, I test you. He wear uniform, he sing a
song, he sit in an office, alone, then talk to
himself. He also one of the illegal toxic waste
throwers.

ORKED: (Coyly). I’ll tell you but what’s it worth?

JASON: (Whispers something in her ear & grins).

ORKED: (Shocked). Oi, you Cina, mau matikah?! If the
king of the zombie find out, you’re dead meat! But
you’re cute, so I let it pass. Okay, I answer the
question. (Thinks, then her eyes widen). Fuyoo!! It’s
someone who thinks he is very important to the
industry! Don’t want to say-lah who! I sure go inside
one! He supposed to help industry but also corrupting
it, ah?

JASON: Bingo! How about the bus driver who become
zombie?

ORKED: Our industry, ah, anyone can become director,
producer, writer, cinematographer, actor. Towkay ikan,
even mamak nasi kandar also can. Okay, the guy who
suddenly appear – Inspektor Chinhon played by Lan Pet
Pet, who that one?

JASON: Easy, close one eye can tell you.

ORKED: Don’t close. You already sepet, afterwards fall
in the drain!

JASON: Eh, Tuhan kasi sepet, tau? Cannot complain,
masuk neraka. That guy, ah, someone who suddenly
became director. Never heard of him, suddenly came
from nowhere. This case, ah, terlepas pandang-lah!
What to do? He think he so great, make fun of other
directors, ask them to see his film, learn how to make
film from him. But what happen? In the end, people
find out he’s cuckoo – in the film, I mean! So our
film industry, ah, like village growing bananas-lah –
like the banana currency during Japanese occupation.
Jaguh kampong only. How to go global? That’s why
called Kampong Pisang.

ORKED: DV filmmakers already global, what?

JASON: No-lah! Their film not in Bahasa Malaysia, also
no violence, no slapstick, no comedy, no Mat Rempit,
all very grim. Don’t show Petronas Twin Towers, only
show rubber trees, toilet, back lane, hotel room, eat
noodle all the time, look blankly for 5 minutes at the
wall. Got one story, ah - woman run away, then they
discover she got husband, also many lovers. This one
okay.* But Malaysia not like that one. Malaysia happy
place! All races happy! Can buy house, Can buy car.
Can buy saham. Got all kind of food. Malaysia truly
Asia. (Bows repeatedly). Welcome to Malaysia, Akira
san! Haven’t forgotten your grand dad who cut off many
heads with samurai sword! Arigato! Atok! Atok!

ORKED: Hei, I thought only Malays got latah? You also,
ah?

JASON: I’m Peranakan. Got Malay blood, what.

ORKED: Okay, okay, what about the Que Haidar
character?

JASON: There’s one guy, ah, make a lot of film tapi
gertak saja. Newspaper give a lot of publicity, tapi
dia punya filem tak sampai mana!

ORKED: The young guy with the shotgun? That one Mamat
Khalid’s son-lah. Why he shoot the zombies? The zombie
give salam, what?

JASON: Message! Message! Only way for the new
generation filmmakers to get rid of the present guys
making films – shoot them with elephant gun! Oops,
sensitive! But also got another guy giving message.
The chief of the zombie giving advice to other
zombies.

ORKED: That one I know! The leader of a certain
organization – maybe society-lah - talking to the
members using 1950s Malay film dialogue: ‘Zombi-zombi
sekalian. Yang tua mesti hormat yang muda. Yang muda
mesti hormat yang tua.’ The nice looking chair signify
his position. He is old-timer. But he dunno time for
him to vacate the chair. Don’t haunt us anymore-lah!
Retire and go play with your grandchildren- lah! Aiyaa,
how to improve like this?

The mamak owner of the stall, who has been eyeing them
for some time, comes over.

MAMAK: I say, gentleman and lady, you drink 2 glass
teh tarik, sit for 2 hours, ah, how can? Business
rosaklah ini macam.

JASON: Mamak, you ever think of going into
filmmaking?

MAMAK: (Ponders). Well, I like U-Wei’s objective,
unsentimental approach, Mansor Puter’s post-modernism,
Hishamuddin Rais’s symbolic representations and Yasmin
Ahmad’s multi-racial, social-realism commentaries… ..

JASON: What about mainstream films like comedies,
romance, horror……?

The mamak starts laughing uncontrollably, rolls on the
ground, still laughing. Two of his staff carry him
away, still laughing.

ORKED: Well, that answers your question!

JASON: Everybody’s a film critic. I won’t
underestimate another mamak again!

On the Lioness's Virginal Post

Hello Tigers and other subjects,

Rajen has requested that I write something. I did want to start off with an insight to my life here with pictures etc, but am really busy this month as auditing period approaches. Not accounting auditing, Quality Auditing!!! Tomorrow I'm going out of Edinburgh to 3 different client's place to have a chat with them on Equal Opportunities Policy.

I'm going to have a chat with 3 guys and lets hope they are all fit! My company's core business is quite boring so I have to keep my self entertained some how.

One of them is very young (20) hmhhhh fresh meat !!! The other is late 20's and the other is a senior positioned person. I work in a male dominated environment which suits me very well. All our clients are 99.9% male and we get the odd female to liaise with.

Tomorrow is my softball team's first game. We are called the 'Gritters' and were in the Edinburgh Softball League Division 2. We are a new team. I'm the catcher. I'm always cold because these smart people play when its freaking 8 degrees. Half way through the game I usually cant move my hands or even make facial gestures. The team were playing against is called 'JC Space Cadets'.

At this very moment my landlord is home so I cant get the heating on. For 2 reasons:-

a) Landlord is not feeling cold

b) Its Spring (yeah maybe in London but not here !!!)

as if !!! Edinburgh only has one weather and it is cold !

So .... I have my woolly pyjamas, woolly robe , scarf and socks. Few hours ago I had my ski cap on.

That's all for now.

With Love and Light

The Lioness xoxo

Choooseeee....

I've got another interesting 'article' from one of the website i frequent... i'm not sure if it's from somewhere.. some movie or something... but here it is...

Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a f**king big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of f**king fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the f**k you are on Sunday night. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing f**king junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life...

Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy s**t we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

advise your friends please... especially the emo ones...

i think it's a damn good advise... don't cut cut but never die... buat kecoh ... ' i tried to kill myself... but i didnt die...' ... CUT DEEPER DAMNIT!!!!... make it count..

Off to the States!!

Guys, my first post.
Its more of a notice.
I'm leaving for Chicago tonight. Big big business deal to close. So take care n don't miss me too much yea. Keep the blogs coming n don't talk cock sing song too much yea. I'll be back the following Tuesday.

Nick, Greg.. if u guys happen to be in Chicago, give me a call yea. :)

Peace..

Notice: Spam

Weh our blog starting to kena spam already. Must do something about it.

quote by...

Aauuuummmm.....yo! just had a yamcha session with the other tigers..probably it's the best session for this week...nothing much besides the standard routine..talk cock sing song..discussing/troubleshoot someone's "problem" is our best specialty.during the session, ONE genius tiger came up with a quote.....

"No matter how hard the METAL is , if you burn it at the right temperature , it will surely melt" - Master Tiger. 28/04/2007

ei....i need to copyright this qoute la..how?

barney is baccccckkkk!!!!

woi!

PURPLE TIGER IS BACK MAAAAAAN


wtf wt this tiger gay shit going on...
brokeback anyone?

u got that right black tiger, i know u enjoy it when i say this ... fffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu yooooooooooooooo <--- Master

Quarter-life Crisis

Took this straight from my friendster buletin.. interesting 'article'..


Being Twenty-Something”

They call it the “Quarter-life Crisis.”

It is when you stop going along with the
crowd and start realizing that there are
many things about yourself that you
didn’t know and may not like.You start
feeling insecure and wonder where you
will be in a year or two, but then get
scared because you barely know where you
are now.

You start realizing that people are
selfish and that, maybe, those friends
that you thought you were so close to
aren’t exactly the greatest people you
have ever met, and the people you have
lost touch with are some of the most
important ones. What you don’t recognize
is that they are realizing that too, and
aren’t really cold, catty, mean or
insincere, but that they are as confused
as you.

You look at your job… and it is not even
close to what you thought you would be
doing, or maybe you are looking for a
job and realizing that you are going to
have to start at the bottom and that
scares you.

Your opinions have gotten stronger. You
see what others are doing and find
yourself judging more than usual because
suddenly you realize that you have
certain boundaries in your life and are
constantly adding things to your list of
what is acceptable and what isn’t. One
minute, you are insecure and then the
next, secure. You laugh and cry with the
greatest force of your life. You feel
alone and scared and confused. Suddenly,
change is the enemy and you try and
cling on to the past with dear life, but
soon realize that the past is drifting
further and further away, and there is
nothing to do but stay where you are or
move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how
someone you loved could do such damage
to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why
you can’t meet anyone decent enough that
you want to get to know better. Perhaps
you love someone who doesn’t love you
back, or worse yet, loves someone else.
Or maybe you love someone but love
someone else too and cannot figure out
why you are doing this because you know
that you aren’t a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups
start to look cheap.

Getting wasted and acting like an idiot
starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and
questions over and over, and talk with
your friends about the same topics
because you cannot seem to make a
decision. You worry about loans, money,
the future and making a life for
yourself… and while winning the race
would be great, right now you’d just
like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that
everyone reading this relates to it. We
are in our best of times and our worst
of times, trying as hard as we can to
figure this whole thing out.
Send this to your twenty something
friends…. maybe it will help someone
feel like they aren’t alone in their
state of confusion…..

GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF US!!!!!

We are Tigers

Hey, we endorsed this product, did a photo shoot but we got no royalty from any Tiger Beer sold. What is this? People drinking our official beer and we get nothing out of it? That's an infringement on our intellectual property rights.

Someone should sue. The Tigers should sue Tiger Beer. We should get a certain amount of compensation for every bottle, can, pitcher, keg or barrel of Tiger Beer sold. What do you guys think?

1 minute of silence for our brothers..... ;(

i stumble on this inhuman shit while surfing the net..those bastards have been killing our kind and exploiting them.you guys better pray hard that i dun find y'all!!!..if i do,i'm gonna skin you fuckazz alive.. aummmmmm

tiu tiu ti ti ti tiu tiuuu....

thats the sound of star wars y'all....wana get high?

eh. how do you embed youtube videos on this bitch?

public service announcement:

dont get AIDS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeoPcEIypwA

Email Jokes...

Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address:

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife

Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!

My Picture Library....

Presenting The Tigers

Hey Greg... put this link up as a link... (duhhh..)

http://picasaweb.google.com/jasonlamfookchung/

Aummmm...surfacing...

finally there's some response from tigers...slowly resurfacing from the concrete jungle.it's been a while.but there are a few more tigers yet to show up.wonder if they are still roaming in the wild or in held in captivity by those WWF dudes....neway keep up the 'Aummmmm'.

hello from melbourne!!!

ok boys,
well, nothing much from my side except julian coming down from sydney for the weekend. it was really good to catch up with the boys. didn't really do much as i was at work most of the time. but alif was around, so he brought julian around abit. anyways, nothing much this week as i'm having my day off today. woo hoo! tv time. later boys! over and out...

Sydney - 24/04/2007

Alright... I thought I'd start the post with an insight on my life here in Sydney. I'm having my housewarming now (after a quick but refreshing trip to Melbourne - was good catching up with Eugene and Alif) and I'm waiting for my other friends to come by. Its good over here.. Its not the same as it is in Kl but everyone has to make do, right? I'll try to get some pictures but it can be hard when you're intoxicated :) I'm living in a great place just a few minutes from the beach. Awesome views and guess what - you get nudists sunbathing here as well!! Hahah! I'll try to get more pictures here as time passes (not the nudists though - its against the law here and its just plain rude).
Alright.. my friends are here and they're bugging me to get off my computer. Will update as time passes by :)

julian.

hello.

testing testing.... eugene here!

All Tigers beware..

i may have the answer for 3T's (Tai Tau Tiger) question..
probably all the tigers are on the run now..cuz there's a new hunter in town.
try to hunt down all the remainder of the clan...she's famous for her 'The Tiger Choke' where she'll catch you and choke you to death.or at least will make pee and shit in your pants....ei guys,we wear pants onot? :)

Photos of me.. and you... and a dog named... jul.. just kidding... :P

http://www.flickr.com/photos/7thlovechild/

check it out... i'll remanage it again to put pictures of us taman tun fellas in a set... just wait a while k... see yah..

where's the rest of the ''Tigers''??

did you guys email this blog thing to them?? notify them and ask them to join in?? i think need to send it again...

Another One of Lam's Photography Masterpiece

I don't know why, I just felt like putting this picture up.

Test.... Apple is the best??? muahahhaa...

Ninja me......

It's about time.

I took a bold step by allowing this lioness to enter our den...
Perhaps it's about time for us to start 'mixing' .....
Presenting...

Manveen - The Sultry Lioness (raised by tigers)

Take a Guess

What does it look like Lam is asking the kid to do? Feel free to make a guess.

This is what you get if too much 'Mosin'..

I was chilling with Din and Yudhis just now @ TSM.
then i have this idea of starting my own hotel business.
Probably can start with a chalet 1st at the center of the city .Then from the money i make..I'll built my second chalet... so on and so forth...then things starts to get tricky.. From chalet,how long must i wait till i can get my own hotel?
So wut i'm gonna do is, propose my ULTIMATE plan to all the banks . Look guys ,I've 50 chalet here.I wanna trade it for a Hotel 15 storey high. I've seen you guys do it on the Monopoly.So I dun see that you guy have any excuse to decline my proposition. Plus I'm giving you guys 50 chalet.Monopoly oni gives you 4!! BItch!! ~

3 Steps to 'Datuk' .

i've came up with this brilliant idea of getting 'Datuk' title for free.. without having to bribe those fuckers to recommend your name to the sultan or whatsoever

1. Find a nice spot to start a kow kow forest fire.Better if it's musim Kemarau.

2. Self VOLUNTEER to go put out the fire.Spend some money if necessary (Still beats bribing).To hire chopper,man power or buy water etc..

3. After that, avoid all the medias. Stay low and humble.When ppl ask you...you just keep on walking and say no comment..Kononnya you are doing it for the benefit of mankind not for the fame..

Last thing you know, our Prime Minister or the Kementerian ppl might end up at your doorstep... offering you a title and some yacht or island...Imagine la..'Datuk Rajen'

- Imagine this SCENARIO -
13th Saturday 2012,TTDI
Neighbor : Eh,Mana Datuk? Cantik kereta baru nie..
Driver : Oh..Datuk pi kena teh tarik kat Mosin ngan member.Nanti aku kena pi pick up dia. pastu, kena hantar gi PULAU Shamayin...
Nighbor : Pulau Shamayin? Kat mane tu?
Driver : Pulau tu kat tepi P.Redang..pulau tu hadiah daripada PM...
Neighbor : Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!! Gilerrr!!! (pengsan)

Damn cun rite my plan!!
Who else would have thought of this shit man..
Only the Master does!!

DISCLAIMER : All the above are just fiction story.Not meant to be executed.If really got some fellas doing it. I'M TOTALLY NOT INVOLVE IN IT..

Look at Lam

Oi, pundek....

You are are suppose to post something here. Say something, show some pictures, youtube some videos, anything.

-Gregs

This video was never shown.

Presenting the TIGERS!!

Here's the list of the Tigers.

1. Rajen - Master Tiger
2. Greg - The Chief Tiger
3. Lam - Tai Tau Tiger (3T)
4. Gan - Doctor Thai Girl..oops
5. Yudhis - The Black Tiger
6. Fua - Cute Tiger
7. Eugene - The Australian Tiger
8. Dinesh - Thambiland Tiger
9. Ong - Little Flying Tiger
10. Julian - The Lain-Lain Tiger

we got three more missing tigers... (who's not in the picture)

Nicholas Lee - GrandMaster Tiger
Liew Way Kiat - The Tiger formerly known as Barney.
Collin Looi - The Spinning Tiger

along the way we picked up...

Manveen - The Sultry Lioness (raised by tigers)
Shah Andrew - The White Coconut Tiger