With Nick's request, I give you my very rushed but humble speech that I gave at Eugene and Beatrice's wedding:
For those of you that don’t know me, I am Julian, and I’ve had the honor of being Eugene’s best man on this special day. It’s a blessing to be here for this truly amazing ceremony, and it’s even more special to be a part of it. Instead of 1 measly week, a little more notice of Eugene telling me I’m the best man would’ve been appreciated, so please do forgive me if this speech seems a little rushed.
First, I would also like to thank the bridal party for making things work today, and a special note goes out to Pastor Ray for being here today. Everything here today looks absolutely fabulous, and the wedding is going as smoothly as planned. Doesnt' everyone agree with me?
I’ve known Eugene since back in high school in a country far far away, and he’s amongst the close circle of friends we have. It wasn’t very hard for us to get along – there were hardly any non-Muslim students in our year, so all of us instantly had something in common – being able to drink and gamble legally.
Eugene was the one that’s always into sports. I remember on one occasion how our school did not have a basketball court and some of us wanted one badly, but the school kept giving the same old excuse of having a “lack of funds”. Eugene went the extra mile of getting a petition going and collecting donations for it, and he finally managed to raise enough money for a court. BUT, it was only built after we left high school, so Eugene never got to use it after all he did!
Eugene is very hardworking, patient, friendly, charismatic, *and loyal. Beatrice needn’t worry about him straying away; even then, and I’m sure she has her ways of ensuring that he doesn’t. He's the kind of guy that you'll want to stick around simply because he's not just the life of the party, but also leaves a lasting impression wherever he goes.
Isn’t it a must for me to talk about the opposite sex in my speech? Eugene always has had a thing for fair and pretty girls, and Beatrice definitely has the brains to match her beauty. Before he met her, he always picked out the prettiest girls in our school and told us that is his “target”. After a string of failed attempts at merely talking to them, he eventually gave up trying, and instead drooled at them during class. Looks like it worked out well for you in the end, didn’t it, Eugene?
Eugene’s very humble and can be a tad quiet to strangers, but when you get to know him better, you’ll realize that he’s quite talkative and adventurous. Being in the food service industry, he’s picked up some pretty good drinking skills – he was pretty pathetic back when we first discovered the joys of alcohol. He’s had his fair share of passing out, and being an active drunk. I won't divulge in his drunken antics here today, since I'm sure most of us has seen that part of him before!
[Note: i was going to say this, but i changed my mind at the last minute: I remember one occasion when all of us booked a hotel room at the Summit Hotel in KL where he took his leather belt off and started jumping on the bed and tried to whip us down with it. That night ended with him hugging the toilet bowl though, where he almost drowned in it (if you’re thinking about it – yes, THAT way). That would’ve been a pretty bad way to go… I bet he still has no recollection of that night!]
To wrap up, I’d like to say that marriage is not about finding someone you can live with, it’s about finding someone you can’t live without. Everyone please join me in a toast to the newlyweds, Eugene and Beatrice.
"May your love for each other be modern enough to survive the times, and old-fashioned enough to last for ever. Ladies and gentleman: the Bride and Groom."